Learning Language as an Introvert. Do We Really Need to Talk to People? - A Bornean Away From Home
Author: Melissa Kartini
Description: Since we tend to consume more than we speak, we are likely to have more solid passive knowledge (grammar and vocabulary, for example) to draw from.
Date: 2020-07-26T14:32:38+00:00

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# Learning Language as an Introvert. Do We Really Need to Talk to People?

updated on 4 August 202026 July 2020 Leave a Comment on Learning Language as an Introvert. Do We Really Need to Talk to People?

Long story short, yes, yes it is–but that is easier said than done. Especially for shy language learners.

Trust me, as a shy person myself, I know this feeling all too well. While I simply adore language learning–I love writing, reading and just consuming such content in general–I tend to dread the speaking part of it. It’s not easy, and sometimes even the most confident of people falter, having reverted from fully capable adults to one with almost infant-like language ability.

What is the point of this post then, if we already know the answer to this question? The point of it is to acknowledge that while communication is important, it can also be a difficult step to take for shy language learners.

> But this isn’t necessarily a weakness. We just learn differently–and it is this difference that can be our strength.

Since we tend to consume more than we speak, we are likely to have more solid passive knowledge (grammar and vocabulary, for example) to draw from. Thus, with that in mind, I’ve gathered a few tips that I’ve learned during my language learning journey. These are meant to help you gain confidence before taking that crucial step of actually engaging in a proper conversation.

(Sorry, there’s no way around it!)

For this post, I’m going to write as someone who is currently immersed in a foreign culture for language learning purposes (Japanese). That said, I believe that even if you didn’t take the immersion route, this post would be of use to you.

### Do what you can

One of the most important things about language learning, particularly for a language as complicated as Japanese, is enjoying the process. If you don’t enjoy the process because you’re too stressed out from trying to meet expectations, you will have a harder time gaining fluency in your target language.

So don’t push yourself. Do challenge yourself, but at the same time, do what you can. For instance, if you’re not comfortable speaking to a native speaker of your target language just yet, strike up a conversation with your fellow language learners instead. Or even your teacher. It doesn’t matter if you take baby steps as long as you’re making progress. Just don’t fall into the trap of complacency, like I did.

Being complacent can be comfortable, but it won’t get you far. Assuming that you have a strong desire to learn the language, though, each setback and missed opportunity that you experience will urge you to be more proactive in the future.

### Language apps

Language apps are a great tool for shy language learners. Now, you can easily download apps for learning kanji, grammar and even vocabulary–but for this section, I would like to focus on language exchange apps.

If you’re too shy to meet and chat with native speakers in person, a language exchange app such as Hellotalk is a great alternative.

What a language exchange app does is that it enables people to connect with native speakers of their target language and vice versa. This way, there is more of a balance because you can learn from each other. For instance, you can learn Japanese from a Japanese person, and that person can learn English from you. These exchanges can be done over text, voice calls, audio messages and video calls. Since it is all online, it is the perfect setup for shy language learners to build a bit of a relationship with their language partner before possibly meeting (you don’t have to).

It is, however, common for one person to be more fluent in their target language than their language partner, so you may encounter this, especially during the beginning stages of your language learning.

### Audio messages

Already have a language partner but you’re too shy to chat via voice call? Then you might want to consider exchanging audio messages. The term is exactly what it implies. Instead of chatting via voice call, you can record yourself speaking and then send the recording over to your language partner. It is a great way to get some speaking practice in without dealing with the jitters of coming up with something on the spot!

This is also extremely convenient, especially if you and your language partner have conflicting schedules. Don’t underestimate how difficult it is to set up a voice call when one of you has a demanding job! (Or worse, lives in a different time zone, for those of you who don’t opt for the immersion approach.)

### Really hit the books

Another thing that aided me in my language learning journey was hitting the books. Hard. The more words and expressions I learned, the more confidence I gained. It sounds like a no-brainer, but honestly, it really helps when you can actually read the kanji on the whiteboard and in the books.

In my case, one of the reasons why my Japanese was so poor was because of my lack of vocabulary and inability to read kanji. The ability to read isn’t the be-all and end-all of language learning, but when you’re a shy introvert who already has trouble speaking, it’s a pretty big deal. So here’s what you can do about it: study. Hit the books hard and build a solid foundation. Once I built a solid foundation to work off of and could keep up in class by being able to read everything without floundering, I felt confident enough to start speaking Japanese. You know, more regularly without using English as a default.

I know the usual advice is that you should start speaking in your target language as soon as possible, and I really do think that that is good advice. But we’re all different, so some of us need to take a bit of time before actually starting.

### Read aloud

For some reason, I started to gain confidence in speaking by reading aloud. Everyday when I was stuck in my apartment thanks to the Rona, I would pick up my intermediate-level Japanese book of short stories and read aloud. My pronunciation, speed and accent vastly improved with time–not only whenever I read, but to my surprise, it transferred to actual conversation as well.

I started to speak with more confidence and with the new expressions I learned from reading, was able to respond more flexibly to people. So much so that I went from being one of quietest students with one of most horrible spoken Japanese in class, to one of the most capable. It was such a huge leap that it surprised my classmates and impressed my teachers.

It is funny how much of a difference choosing whether to read aloud or silently makes, but it is what it is. I think it has a lot to do with you getting used to using the language. If you don’t speak, your mouth and tongue won’t get used to forming the words.

So speak, even if it’s just you by yourself in your bedroom with a book in hand.

### Practice what you want to say

Another thing you can do is just practice what you want to say. If you have an appointment with the dentist, come up with a list of things that you might have to say and practice saying them. If you have something you’d like to discuss with your teacher, do the same thing. Write it down, and practice. It sounds silly, but every bit helps. You’ll feel less flustered trying to find the words to say, and the meeting will go smoother as well. As a bonus, you’ll remember the words you used better because it actually applied to the situation! Meaning, your brain would have something to associate those words with, rather than just memorizing them from a vocabulary list.

Another related version of this is speaking to yourself, saying what you’re doing aloud in your target language.

For example, you can say, “Watashi wa osara wo aratteimasu (私はお皿を洗っています: I’m washing the dishes)” when you’re doing the dishes. Again, you’ll remember the words better through association.

There we go. A list of things that we shy language learners can do for a more fulfilling language learning experience. It’s a tough road ahead, but I wish you all the best. Good luck!

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