I’m sure that at this point, most of you have noticed that my posting times over recent weeks have… slipped a little. That’s because like many people out there, I’ve been feeling uninspired and honestly, restless and stressed. I’ve been staying indoors since February, and now that I really think about it, a string of bad luck practically kept me, with the exception of school, indoors throughout most of January too.
So with the arrival of May, I’m entering my second full month of quarantine life, with January and half of February being semi-quarantines.
Understandably, being indoors for this long has reduced me to pulling at my hair at times. It is nothing short of distressing. That said, I try not to complain, because I know that the sheer fact that I have a roof over my head (for now) makes me very lucky during these desperate times. I realise this, guiltily.
But the anxiety remains. Because while I might be fine now, who knows what the future will bring? So I remind myself of all the things to be grateful for instead, allowing the anxiety to fade to the back of my mind. It doesn’t banish it 100%, it doesn’t solve all of my problems, but it’s the best thing I can do for myself right now.
Whenever I start getting overwhelmed with anxiety, these are some of the things I think about to help take the edge off:
- Amazing friends and family: Although we live in separate countries, I am eternally grateful to my family and friends. If it hadn’t been for them and their video calls, I think I would have long lost my sanity (exaggeration? In this situation, I don’t know anymore). Speaking to them, even if it’s through a video call, helps. While I’m not the type to get terribly homesick, it really is one of the best pick-me-ups there is.
- My freelance job: I’ll be real with you. Prior to the spread of Covid-19, I was actually on the lookout for a part-time job. I had some time on my hands so I wanted to earn some money while improving my spoken Japanese. Sounds like a good idea, right? Unfortunately, I ran into one bad luck after another, until finally, my school announced it was closing its doors due to Covid-19. At that point, I thought it would be better to abandon the idea, especially since I have a freelance job that I can get some income from. It’s not stable income, but it’s something and it allows me to work from home. For that, I am grateful.
- Food and the ability to cook: I’m grateful that there is still plenty of food on supermarket shelves and that I actually know what to do with them this time. After all, it was not too long ago that I struggled with preparing even the simplest of dishes. That was what, maybe over a year ago? I’m not saying that I’ve achieved master chef status (I wish), but I’m glad that I don’t have to depend on instant noodles anymore.
- My introverted personality: Despite how much I love travelling, I’ve always been introverted. And like many introverts, I love staying indoors. I have no doubt that this helped me cope with this seemingly never-ending quarantine period. I write, I cook, I clean, I study, I watch Netflix; I’m pretty good at keeping myself entertained for ages.
- Better coping skills: Even introverts crave interaction. Perhaps it’s maturity, meditation or having dealt with my issues, but I’m dealing with isolation a lot better this time around.
- That I’m still relatively productive: There was a time when I literally spent about half a year in bed, in a deep, deep, depressive, exhausted slump. Even getting out of bed was a major task for me. My productivity level was bottom-of-the-pit low. This time, I spent, maybe 1-2 weeks in a slump before returning to work? I still struggle with restlessness, but I’m running on a fairly regular schedule of cooking, studying, cleaning and working. Writing, when I have the inspiration for it. I admit that’s the one aspect where I fall short.
- Netflix: Yes, I’m thankful for Netflix. Like most of you are too hehe. I’m sure I would have long gotten bored without it. Plus, it has been pretty helpful for my Japanese studies! I got to watch quite a few Japanese dramas and animes during this period.
- Online lessons: I have a love-hate relationship with online lessons. On one hand, I’m not happy about coming all the way to Japan only to attend online classes–but on the other, online lessons are a lot less time-consuming. Sure, it comes at the cost of communicating in Japanese with my classmates, but this means I have more time to focus on kanji. My Archilles’ heel. On top of that, I have more time to focus on my freelance job and building my portfolio. With the new normal, I might have to realise my dream of working from home sooner rather than later.
- Teachers who actually care: I’m upset that I cannot physically attend school for the time being, but I’m also glad to have teachers who actually care about us. My school was perhaps one of the fastest to close its doors, way before the government requested schools to do so. There were quite a number of cases where schools opened despite the situation, so… yeah. A huge thank you to my school. I hope it manages to pull through this just fine.
- Toilet paper: AFTER ALMOST TWO MONTHS OF NO SHOW, TOILET PAPER IS FINALLY BACK ON THE SHELVES. I thank God that people have stopped panic-buying toilet paper. The last thing I want to do is worry about being down to my last loo roll and being unable to buy more.
I’m sure there’s more, but these are the ones that I think of the most. They helped me get through my emotional slumps more times than I can count.
That, and finally accepting that this is the new normal. We’re not returning to the life we once knew, guys. This new normal is going to be here for awhile. As terrible as it is, there’s nothing that we can do except to adapt. And protect ourselves as best as we can.
Take care, everyone. I hope to churn out more helpful posts in the future.
