When I reached the decision to study abroad in Japan, it was not a decision that had been made out of the blue. I like to think of it as something that had been planned out for me. Now, I don’t mean to be dramatic, but when I sit back and reflect on my life, I realise, huh, it all seems to be a part of a grand scheme. Where this road leads to, though, I have yet to find out.
It all started during the early years of my life, in a way that is familiar for many people in my age group–except that I never really deviated from it. I chuckle with a hint of embarrassment when I think of how I was first brought into contact with anything Japanese; it was through, you guessed it, Pokemon and Sailor Moon.
Growing up, I watched both animes, and played Pokemon games avidly. Even when I grew out of them, Japanese entertainment found ways back into my life, and even when it wasn’t a main focus, it was always there in the background, something comfortable to unwind with whenever I was exhausted. It was not just anime and games anymore, though; novels and movies were also added to the batch.
It was always there in the background, something comfortable to unwind with whenever I was exhausted.
Eventually, from being a thing of leisure, I grew fascinated with the culture reflected in Japanese media–more so in the novels than anything else, though anime also provides slivers of real Japanese culture every now and then. Thus began the process of studying and delving into Japanese culture through just about every resource I could think of. Books, videos, articles, you name it. It’s so different from the culture I was brought up in, but at the same time, somewhat comforting and familiar. I could relate to and understand many of the mannerisms and behaviours reflected in Japanese culture. I didn’t, however, delude myself into thinking, “This is where I belong.”
As much as my fascination with Japanese culture continued for years from my late teens till now, it was still a backseat passenger. A spectator to my love for writing and the English language.
Then one day, whilst I was at a loss as to what to do with my life and career, and after being bombarded with job ad after job ad to do with the Japanese language, I thought, “Why not study Japanese?”
It was as though fate was calling me. At the lowest point in my life, it called out to me, reminding me of how much I like Japanese culture, and how I had been considering on-and-off for years to study the language–but had always chickened out. Intimidated by the impossible that is kanji.
It was something that would give me purpose in life. I was feeling helpless in the industry I was in. English-only writing jobs were swiftly depleting, so it was only a matter of time before I was out of a job.
I signed up for classes, and it changed everything for me. I realised that my love for language was not limited to just English, but could be extended to other languages as well. In this case, Japanese.
My parents’ reaction
When I finally told my parents that I wanted to study abroad in Japan, I received two very different reactions.
My mom was not very happy about it. She freaked out a little, and said some of the following things to me:
- “Why? You have a good job now. Why would you want to leave that?”
- “Japan is not safe. Got earthquake how?”
- “What if got tsunami?? You know how many people died there??”
- etc, etc, etc
Each time, she got more and more creative about the way I’d inevitably die in Japan. Which was very typical mom. This continued for several months.
My dad, on the other hand, was calm. That said, he had a brief expression on his face that clearly said, “Oh God, how long does this girl plan on being in school?” before he looked away, food forgotten, and said,
“Those who study in Japan usually get married in Japan.”
Okay.
Not really related to the subject, but thanks, dad.
Still a lot better than hearing about all the many ways I’d die, though.
What about my friends?
My friends were a lot calmer. They were very supportive, if a bit sad to see me go. At the time, I was in the midst of applying for my chosen Japanese school and thus hadn’t gotten confirmation about my visa yet. But the moment I did, I would have to leave almost immediately. So we made sure to spend as much time together as possible before I had to leave for Japan. We hung out at cafes, restaurants, went to see movies, and even traveled together. It was a blast!
But even after all that, they couldn’t let me leave without reminding me of one thing:
“You’re already past 25 years old, and by the time you’re done studying… Maybe it would be better to find a boyfriend before you go to Japan.”
To which I laughed, because there was no way I’d find a partner on such short notice. They were really confident I would, though, insisting that my future potential partner and I could make it work by doing long-distance.
I don’t know about you, but most people aren’t ecstatic about entering a relationship with someone who’s about to leave for a foreign country for at least two years. A country that doesn’t even speak English, no less. What would happen if I wished to continue living there after graduation? That’s a lot of time up in smoke.
In Malaysia, it is generally believed that women should marry by the age of 25. Otherwise, she would be regarded as too “old”. This mentality is slowly dying out, but it is still very much there.
So I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, I could somehow miraculously find a Malaysian partner before going over, and see how that works out. On the other, I could struggle finding someone in a country where most don’t speak English, much less Malay.
Both were not bright prospects.
In the end, I thought, to heck with it. I did try finding a partner in Malaysia, but I failed. I can still vaguely remember the disappointment and for some men that I’d seen, mortification, when I said I was about to leave for Japan. That was fine.
Because my desire to study there was stronger. I would figure the rest out later.
What about everyone else?
Strangers were mostly very positive about the idea of studying in Japan. They would often say that I would have a great time there, and that Japan is an amazing country.
Acquaintances and ordinary friends tended to express either that or that I was very brave, for various reasons. The reasons include:
- “Wahlao, how you gonna communicate with them? It’ll be so lonely hor.”
- “My God, you dare make such a big, life-changing decision like that.”
- “You don’t even know whether you’ll get the visa??”
- “Japan damn stressful leh. Will you be okay?”
- “Wow, you so brave le, going to a country that damn siao about working.”
Of all the reasons, they tended to go with the last one. It’s no secret that most Malaysians fear working in Japan, claiming that it’s insane. I don’t really see what the fuss was all about, though. If a foreigner hates working in Japan, they are free to go home whenever they want. They are not by any means sentenced to life in the country, so such fears are unwarranted.
That’s just me, though.
Thus far, I’m very happy with my life here. Albeit, as a student; I have no experience working here.
Still, though. No regrets. If anything, I wish I had done this sooner!
