When people think about studying and living abroad, they envision a bright, bright future with a white picket fence house. Good food, a good job and a good, problem-free life. Rarely do they think about some of the less appealing realities that are attached to settling in another country.
To date, I’ve studied abroad in two countries; Australia and Japan. And while the title of this post might make it seem like it, my experience from living abroad isn’t a negative one. Far from it. I have had far more positive experiences than I can count, but for this particular post, I will focus on some of the negatives of studying abroad.
Now, remember that no matter where you choose to go, there will be pros and cons. Get rid of the delusion that by going abroad, you will have a fairy-tale life; because every country has good and bad things about it. Even if you choose to stay in your own country, you would experience the same thing. Isn’t that right?
But what about negative living abroad-specific problems? From both of my stays in Australia and Japan, I’ve noticed a couple of similar trends, some of which I noticed as soon as my first week in.
Living abroad is expensive
You don’t really realise just how expensive it is to live abroad until you have to start the process of settling in. Sure, you know living abroad is going to cost money, but what you don’t know is that it is going to cost a whole lot more than you initially thought.
Because once you have to start settling in, you have to buy the essentials for your new life. Food, toiletries, clothes, books, cleaning products, kitchenware, towels, blankets, and so on and so forth. The list is seemingly endless, and the costs add up. What’s more is that this process can last for weeks, or even months, because there’ll always be something else that you need to make your new home complete.
In my case, it took me maybe 2-3 months to settle into my Japanese apartment. The language barrier certainly didn’t help; I had a lot of trouble navigating through this bustling metropolis that I live in.
You’re a foreigner
Photo by melissakartini
This one is a little on the nose, but hear me out. No matter where you are in the world, as long as you’re a foreigner, there will be some things that will be harder for you than the locals. As a foreigner, you may have to work harder to secure a job; you may have difficulty getting a local phone number or a bank account; you may even face racism.
Suddenly, things that you didn’t really have to think about in your own country have now become a challenge.
That said, not everything will be harder for you. Just remember that no matter how good your new life is, there will nearly always be some sort of disadvantage that may come from your status of being a foreigner.
You’re the new kid on the block
Living in a new country is exciting, but it also means starting over from scratch. To be more specific, it means that from having a solid network of friends and family, you are now in a country where you don’t know anyone–and have to restart the process of making new connections.
Thus, the first few weeks or months can be quite lonely. Everyone else may already have their own friends to hang out with, while you’re still trying to find your place in this new setting. Or if you’re lucky enough to be in a school where every single person is an international student, then making friends will be a lot easier for you. This is because everyone is starting over from scratch, so chances are, they’ll be just as keen as you are to make new friends!
Of course, it may take a bit of time to find your people, but that’s expected anywhere.
You may drift apart from some people back home
When distance is placed between certain relationships, the people involved may drift apart. This is life. But you may feel this even more so by living abroad.
By being in a new country, you may gain new interests and life experiences that differ wildly from those back home–making it harder for you to relate to your friends and family. You’ll also be immersed in an entirely different culture that will influence and develop you in ways that they would not be able to understand. How can they?
And when you go home, you might even feel like a bit of an outsider, having absorbed the culture of your new country. Your friends and family may be surprised by some of the cultural quirks you’ve picked up, or even be bewildered or irritated that you’ve forgotten how some things are done back home.
Everyone back home moves on without you
It is a bitter, unthought of reality that everyone moves on without you. Things don’t stop just because you left. Life goes on, and as you scroll through social media or when you go back home for the holidays, you’ll see with a slight melancholic tinge that everyone is fine without you.
Your friends may meet new people and make new friends. They may buy houses or get promotions or even get engaged. They’ll go on with their daily routines, lives seemingly unmarred by your absence. This doesn’t apply to just your friends, though–it applies to your family as well. With you out of the picture, life still goes on. That is just how it is.
While it may feel tempting to let this disappointment swallow you whole–don’t. You have your own life to live. Enjoy it!
You are absent for major life events
I can’t tell you how many weddings and engagements I’ve missed during my less than a year stay in Japan. Because honestly, there have been so many. And as much as I’d like to attend every single wedding, engagement and milestone celebration there is, that just isn’t realistic. There is the matter of my schedule to take into account and not to mention, the matter of my bank account.
All things considered, though, weddings and such celebrations are probably the least of your concerns in terms of major life events. Not to be insensitive, but it is true.
This is because the most unsettling pill to swallow about living abroad is that should someone close to you fall ill or (God forbid) pass away, you may not be able to be by their side. Or at the very least, you may not be able to attend to them quickly.
Of all the downsides that come with living abroad, this is the one that hits me the most. But what can I do? I’m just thankful that so far, everyone I know is well and healthy. May they continue to be that way.
