Photo by melissakartini
This was a lot harder to think up a list for than one of those usual gratitude or best experiences lists, but here it is. Luckily, I’m quite obsessive about documenting my experiences on Instagram, so that made creating this list a lot easier.
So what were my most rewarding experiences of 2019?
That’s tough to say because so many things happened this year. A lot of which were good, some were bad but that was mostly at the beginning and largely due to my own mindset. 2019 is in many ways a year of change for me, and being a person who originally hated change, it was tough for me. Change means the unknown, and dealing with the unknown means that I can’t control what happens. I hated that.
I still do to a certain degree, but there has been a vast improvement. So much so that my mom has commented that my personality has done a 180 (granted, she said that last year, but further change has been made since then haha).
Anyway, here’s to the list.
Moving to another country
Photo by melissakartini
This one’s a no-brainer. Moving to another country is in itself one of the biggest life decisions that you can make, especially when you’re no longer in your early 20s. Add the fact that you’re single and from a country that considers 25 the acceptable marriage age limit for women (though this is changing) into the mix, then you’re in for a real treat. And oh, have I mentioned that English is barely spoken in the country that you’re moving to? Yay!
But in all seriousness, now that I’m actually here in Japan, it’s not so bad. All of those worries kind of melted away once I settled in. Sure, there was a small spell of loneliness for a while there, but now I love it here. I get to travel, experience a new culture, and learn something new everyday. In some ways, being here has helped further push my growth by outright making me face some of my greatest fears; commitment, earthquakes, isolation, abandonment, etc…
Surprisingly, moving here has also helped me to accept myself.
To accept that I’m different. I guess it’s because Japan is such a homogeneous society, they see me and accept that I’m just different. Because well duh, foreigner. If not that, they assume I’m Japanese and thus treat me like everyone else. When they realise I’m not Japanese, though, they still treat me pretty well. My schoolmates have told me that this isn’t usually the treatment that they get, so my mixed, ambiguous heritage might have played a factor here. That, or I’ve been pretty lucky so far.
When I’m in Malaysia, though, I thread the fine line of being a foreigner or a Malaysian. I’m treated like a foreigner. Yet I’m expected to know Malaysian culture and forced to follow certain rules (because people get mad that they can’t categorize me into one race, they try to force me into a box and demand I follow the rules that come with it). But I am ultimately not regarded as a part of the group. My Otherness is constantly pointed out, and I’m gaped and gawked at like an exhibit at the zoo.
I feel at peace in Japan. Despite holding an Alien Card, I’m less of an Alien here than in Malaysia lol.
Living alone
Yes, I did live in Australia when I was studying for my Bachelors, but that doesn’t really count because I lived at a hostel. A hostel where food was prepared for everyone and no one was allowed to cook; and where there were common rooms. While the experience of living at a hostel was valuable too, living alone is different. It’s different in the way that I have to rely on myself for cleaning, cooking and grocery shopping.
I love living alone because it’s fun to feel independent; I enjoy learning new recipes so I can enjoy different cuisines, and learning even more recipes so I can avoid food wastage; and I like managing my finances and finding out that hey, I’m actually doing a pretty decent job at it.
But perhaps the most rewarding thing about living alone is that I’m away from distractions. By being alone, I had come to realize that I had been so distracted that I had lost sight of what really matters. Life isn’t just about worldly things; you need to take care of your spiritual and mental state too.
Travelling and meeting up with friends
Photos by melissakartini
It’s easy to focus on the bad things in life, but when I scrolled through all the photos from this year, I realized that I’m blessed. I mean, I was already happy before I had done that, but after doing it, it really sank in. I had gone from experiencing exclusion to having wonderful friends who would not only travel with me, but would travel halfway across the world to hangout. Words cannot describe how happy that makes me. I only wish that I can return the favour. However, for now, my finances are pretty much focused on keeping myself afloat in Tokyo. Once I’m able to, though, I’m coming for you guys!
Embracing change
It doesn’t really matter what kind of change. Be it finding a new job, trying something new or dealing with a loss.
I’m not saying that I’ve changed into a whole new person, but I’m trying to embrace change when it comes. At least at the capacity that I’m able to. I’m not perfect and as long as I’m alive, I know I never will be; because there’ll always be room for improvement.
The change I’m talking about isn’t limited to changes in circumstances and in myself. It also includes welcoming new people into my life. I didn’t enjoy allowing anyone new into my life, but at some point along the way, I decided to stop being so closed off. To stop being so afraid of abandonment and of letting go of the people I do have. This has paid off because it has not only opened me up to new experiences, I’ve met a lot of individuals who have enriched my life in so many ways. I have learned that it’s not the end if someone leaves, but most of all, I have learned that it’s okay to let someone go. You don’t have to be friends with everyone; when a relationship is dead, it’s dead.
Attending a Human Book project at a Japanese university
Photo by melissakartini
This opportunity came about unexpectedly. Remember that thing I said about welcoming new people into my life led to new experiences? This was one of them. I made friends with a girl from my class, and one day, she told me and another friend that a Japanese university was looking for English-speaking foreigners. They wanted the foreigners to speak at one of their classes for a project. Being a naturally shy and private person, my first instinct was to say “no”, but since I had told myself to try out new things, I agreed.
Best decision ever. The day of the class was by no means perfect, but it was rewarding all the same. The class project in question was a Human Book project. You might have heard of it, but if you haven’t, it’s essentially a project where people act a “books” for you to “read”. But instead of reading, they tell you about their life/personal experiences. And you in turn can ask them questions about their life/personal experiences. Thus, it was perfect for helping me get over two things: my distaste for getting personal and speaking to a group of people (public speaking).
I didn’t get over either of those in one day, but it was a step in the right direction. 🙂
Well, that’s about it from here. Happy New Year, everyone!
